I had a one-on-one conversation with Geoffrey Kwame Buta, a young leader whose journey reminded me of a simple truth: not everyone should be your mentor.
In today’s world, it’s easy to call anyone successful a mentor, but real mentorship is deeper than admiration. A good mentor isn’t just someone who is ahead of you; they are someone whose values, vision, and experiences align with the purpose you carry inside you.
Why Not Everyone Should Be Your Mentor
Many people make the mistake of choosing mentors based on fame, money, or status. But the truth is, a mentor who doesn’t understand your path can easily misguide you. A good mentor is like a compass, they may not walk the journey for you, but they help you find direction when the road feels confusing.
Secrets of a Good Mentor
During my chat with Buta, I shared what I call “your mentor’s mentor” principle: the idea that a great mentor has also been mentored, shaped, and sharpened by others. That’s the kind of mentor you want, someone who values learning as much as teaching.
A good mentor will:
- Listen more than they speak.
- Challenge you to think differently.
- Share their failures, not just their wins.
- Open doors you didn’t even know existed.
How to Select and Approach a Mentor
- Be Clear About Your Purpose – Before approaching someone, ask yourself: What do I want to learn? What kind of person do I want to become?
- Study Them First – Follow their work, read their thoughts, and understand their values. Don’t just approach them blind.
- Start Small – Instead of asking, “Will you be my mentor?” start with meaningful conversations, like asking for advice on one challenge.
- Bring Value – Mentorship isn’t one-sided. Show your mentor that you are ready to put in the work and, where possible, contribute to their journey too.
Convincing Someone to Mentor You
Authenticity is your strongest tool. Share your story, your struggles, and why you believe their guidance matters to you. Most mentors aren’t looking for perfection, they’re looking for passion, commitment, and honesty.
At Barcamp, I was reminded that mentorship isn’t about collecting names, it’s about building life-changing relationships. And sometimes, the mentor who will truly transform your life is not the loudest, most popular person, but the one whose journey whispers to your soul: “I’ve walked where you’re going.”
